abah's baby girl writes it down..

:: this is a lil' somethin' i wrote way back in 2002.. especially for my Abah :: he has turned 51 exactly a month ago +_+

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‘Beware of Ogre!!’, says the sign on Abah’s bedroom door. I put the sign up 10 years ago and it has never left its place since. Abah fits the description beautifully, I must say..

(Ok… I’m exaggerating. Just felt like having an eye-opening paragraph!)

Don’t get me wrong, he’s not that appalling. Abah is big, tall, loud, temperamental and has this semi-permanent frown on his face that makes him look fierce. More often than not, my friends would mutter under their breaths, “garangnya muka” upon meeting Abah for the first time. However, beneath the rock-solid, ogre-like exterior, lies a very softhearted gentleman whose courage, compassion, kindness and love are beyond words.

Abdul Jalil bin Darus, born on 24 August 1955 in Bukit Mertajam, Penang, is the fourth son of a railway station master and a housewife. Although they led a pretty comfortable life, Abah’s parents were disciplinarians who taught him that nothing in life comes easy. During his BM High School days, he made full use of his willpower and determination in rugby, whereby he was the captain. The years he represented Penang in rugby were the best years of rugby playing in Malaysia and have never been replicated since (so he claims!) I don’t know how far that is true, but if Abah says it’s true, then I believe him. All I know is that from having fair skin, he became very, very tanned!

Raised by such parents, it is no wonder that Abah is a super-disciplinarian. His training during police force was deeply instilled in him, and I guess old habits are hard to break. One of the morning routines that I really detest is Abah checking if my bed has been made properly, according to hospital-bed standards! (Here I go exaggerating again..but really, I am 21 years of age!) And if I whine about being 21 and all the grown-up business, he’d shoot me down with his all-time favourite phrase, “I don’t care if you’re 21, 31 or 41, as long as you live under my roof, and I provide for your food, clothing and education, then you’d better do as I say.” Uh-oh..

An absolute stickler for cleanliness and tidiness, he would go berserk if he comes home from a long day at work and finds the house not in immaculate condition. This is his major headache. Abah always says (in jest, of course) that one day he’ll just run away because he can’t stand the mess that we usually make for him. He is so particular about how newspapers, books and magazines are arranged (biggest ones at the bottom, smaller ones on top). Shoes are to be placed nicely on the shoe rack (not just conveniently thrown around). Another thing that he always finds fault with is that we, or my brothers at least, tend to forget to switch of the lights, fan, television, water-tap, the works. Oh, and also our forgetfulness when it comes to washing the dishes. My brothers are usually the culprits; I am usually the perfect little angel (NOT!!)

I guess, being an ex-police officer and all, Abah is just particular about everything..He is also highly particular about his children’s manners. If we were introduced to a friend of his, or relatives, or anybody for that matter, Abah would be keeping a watchful eye on us. “Forgetting” to salam or bowing when walking on front of people will result in a painful berating later.

Nowadays, at the ripe old age of 47, he doesn’t play rugby actively anymore. He is more into golf. Recently, however, he did a short stint of coaching rugby. He survived. Unfortunately, he went for some practice rounds with the Police rugby team. And suffered some back pain and cramps. When I told him it was suicide, he just smiled his cheeky grin and waved me off.

The amazing thing, he IS in good shape. Abah jogs twice a day, it’s as if he’s addicted to it. He plays golf at least four times a week, and watched what eats. Oh and how he loves to eat. Abah is whom I call a ‘food expert’. He knows all the good makan places, and he would literally ‘jalan jalan cari makan’.

Burp.

Abah’s admirable traits include great organizational skills and time management (which I really envy…), and a warm, friendly rapport with people, especially with the older generation. Even with a stranger, Abah can just strike up a conversation, and the next thing you know, they’re talking like old pals.

He has a soft spot for animals, and that’s why he won’t go to the zoo. He just can’t bear to look at the animals being caged up behind bars as though they’re prisoners. When he was 19, Abah cried uncontrollably when his beloved cat died. Now we are not allowed to have any cats, or pets for that matter, because of the incident. Abah said the pain he felt was so terrible, he doesn’t want his children to go through the same miserable experience. Aawwww….

I wish I could possess the same admirable traits as Abah, but all I seem to inherit from him are his eyes, his nose, his hair, his smile and his temper. The temper of his, I don’t even want to go there. He has an ugly temper, mine – uglier. This explains why we used to have big-scale arguments. Abah likes to provoke me; I couldn’t handle the situation calmly. The outcome? Volcano eruption. The best part about Abah is, if he’s wrong, he’s not afraid to admit it. People like Abah and I usually have ‘temperatures’ that rise and cool down in an instant. We just don’t know how to hold grudges. More often than not, he’ll be knocking at my door, saying sorry.

I am happy to say that I was born into a family that comprises the wackiest and zaniest people I’ve ever met. Abah is an excellent mimic, and loves to pull all sorts of crazy facial expressions. If there were a Hindi song on the radio, he’d just grab Mama and start dancing and twirling like mad. The children would join the commotion and everybody would be laughing like hyenas, no kidding! Most of the time, I am the source of laughter at home. I would just suddenly go nuts and start laughing or imitating someone, when actually no one is paying attention to me. During my moments of temporary insanity, Abah’s phrase, without fail, would be, “Awat Sheemi, dah gila ka?” in his indelible Bukit Mertajam accent.

Abah does surprise me at times. When I first started studying at UiTM Shah Alam, I had to stay in a hostel and could only go home on weekends. That was also the first time I was away from my family. One weekend, after we had dinner, Abah sat next to me while we were watching TV and told me that he missed me terribly when I was not around. I was touched by his openness that since then I’ve always remembered to call him when I’m away from home.

I’ve learned over the years, as I gradually mature into becoming a young woman, that Abah has always loved me unconditionally. I used to think that he probably doesn’t care about me because he would refuse my requests to go out with my friends or buy things that I desperately need, or just yell at me because of something that was not my fault. I’ve understood that his heart breaks whenever he disappoints me, but all he wanted to do was prepare me. That in life, not everything will turn out as how I want them to be. There’ll be challenges lying ahead, and he was training to be strong in facing rejections. I regretted the times when I went back against his word, fought with him, being disrespectful and disobedient, and other rules that I’ve broken. Looking back, I guess that was part and parcel of a relationship between a father and a daughter. I’m glad that I realize now never to take Abah for granted. I love him for being my tower of strength, someone reliable whom I can count on, my lifesaver. But I also have to play my part, by making him happy and showing my appreciation. I hope one day I will be able to repay everything that he has done for me. And although he had repeatedly said that he loves all his four children equally, I know he loves his baby girl the most! ;)