note: if tak faham tajuk, please look it up.
warning: entry ni panjang gila.tapi tak bosan. sila bersedia dengan secawan kopi.
spoiler alert: terdapat kata-kata pedas di dalam entry ni. sila berwaspada. kalau anda mudah terasa atau amat sensitive, please do not proceed.
OK GO.
Many a times people have asked me, “so, how’s married life?”
And I say, “great!” or “best giler!” or “wonderful!”
Some have even asked whether I am still enjoying the fairytale..
And I say dengan penuh semangat, “YES! I AM!”
Most of the time i get this look of disbelief… like tak percaya with my answer la..
Some have even dared to actually go further by saying “Ye ke? Alaa.. baru2 kahwin memang la best…”
Mind you, these are also the people who previously have told me that, “Masa bercinta ni best la Sheemi… nanti bila dah kahwin…hmmm… mana ada lagi ‘I love u- u love me’, sweet2 things ni lagi…”
Actually memang ada one colleague ni, let’s call her Kak N. We were having our department meeting (this was like, 4 months ago) and I was sitting next to her. She saw some scribbling in one of my notebook pages. This is what my hubby Hafidz (who was then my fiancé) wrote:
“Sayang, thank you for loving me..you’re the best thing that happened to me.. I’ll always love you…”
so Kak N ni nampak, and she went like, “Elehh… ni mesti masa baru2 bercinta dulu… haa… belum kawin memang la camni…nanti dah kawin esok, jangan harap la..”
Sheemi dengan penuh kesabaran hanya mampu tersenyum & did not counter sebab at that precise moment, boss pun start bercakap. I wanted to say, “Tak, ni masa kitorang dah keluar setahun lebih… and dia masih lagi camni…lu jeles apahal?”… but noooo, I just sat there mendiamkan diri dengan rasa geram tapi tak tunjuk, because I was brought up to have manners.
That was just one example. I have encountered manyyyyyy people who have given either me or my beloved hubby advice on marriage (this was when we were engaged) and now that we’re married, advice on pregnancy and life with children.
I’ll have you know that some people whom I met, when I told them THEN that I was getting engaged..they said this tau: “E’eh..jangan la bertunang2 semua ni… banyak dugaan…tau tak orang yang bertunang ni lagi kerap bergaduh…nanti silap2 takut putus tunang je”.
Orang2 yang percaya with all these things, tolonglah… stop it. If u always say it, u believe it. If u believe it, it will happen.
I bukan nak gloat or bermegah-megah di sini atau nak bercerita dengan riak dan takbur, but syukur Alhamdulillah… Sheemi & Hafidz did not endure any masalah atau dugaan pun masa pertunangan kami. It was smooth and things went on as usual.
Anyway, the same Kak N approached me one day, I think about 2 months after I was married, and asked,” So, camne? Dah perang besar ke belum?”
I said, “Tak. Kitorang memang tak reti nak perang2 besar ni Kak. Takde sebab.”
She looked at me skeptically and said, “Tunggu la… awal lagi ni” and walked off.
I felt like throwing my keyboard at her, but like I said, my parents brought me up well.
OMG!
are you people jealous or something??
are your husbands not giving you enough attention??
do you need to get laid more often????
Look, we like any other couples in a relationship, of course ada our cranky moments or wrong timing and we squabble and argue. That’s normal and healthy. But fortunately for us, we don’t yell at each other or say hurtful things or baling stuff… and usually our arguments or merajuk-ness never last longer than 30 minutes and more often than not, we end up laughing. Kelakar kan?
That’s why it is a fairytale for me, to have found my Prince Charming, my Mr. Right.
If he’s not the one, I wouldn’t have married him. D-uhhh.
Mohd Hafidz Zainul Abidin is still the same guy I fell in love with 2 years & 5 mths ago.
He still buys chocolates for me (my favorite Kinder Bueno) from time to time, for no particular reason.
He still writes notes for me (in my notebook or puts them in my bag)
He still won’t let me carry the shopping bags when we go shopping (even though most of the time the bags are all mine…yes I shop a lot!)
He still won’t let me cross the road on my own, he will hold my hand and stand beside me but on the side of where the traffic is coming from, and won’t let go of my hand until we’ve safely crossed.
He still won’t let me help fill up the tank at petrol station, but most of the times I keluar cepat2 & stand-by pegang the pump as he goes in to pay. And if he tries to get the pump from me I’ll just glare at him.
By the way, he still won’t let me go pay at the petrol station, at the food counter, wherever.
He still asks me to sit at the table/in the car while he gets the food at the food court/KFC/pasar malam. If for instance we’re at the food court, he will then put the food on the table, then goes again to get the drinks pulak. If I INSIST, then only he will let me follow.
Now that we’re married and we live together, he sometimes makes Nescafe for me in the morning or prepare my ‘bekal’ to work (roti kaya..and sometimes he surprises me with a sweet note attached in the container)
OOoh, and very importantly, Hafidz memang SEJAK DULU lagi, will do anything to make me happy. This also applies whenever I ada sebut nak makan anything, like contoh, donut ke, nak gi Johny’s ke, nak makan ikan bakar ke. Sometimes it’s not even a request, sometimes I just mention like, “mmm dah lama tak makan donut.” Tiba2 malam nanti ada donut kat dalam fridge.
I know him, he’s attentive, alert & observant: he will do whatever it takes to fulfill my yearnings and he doesn’t have to be asked to do it. I’m so lucky, ain’t got nothing to worry when I preggers nanti. Oh wait, I am already ;p
IKLAN Flashback: Tetiba teringat zaman kitorang kawan2 dulu…masa tu Hafidz was like, my best guy friend… my nescafe ais buddy, rakan gelak besar and at times like my abang cuz I’d always run to him when the other guys usik2 or bahan I. (contoh macam Alan Zed…hahahaha..) Masa tu zaman kitorang buat Luxor and selalu gather with the other Luxorians kat Dikayu Wangsa Maju. So there was this one night we were hanging out with Waq and Tala kot… pastu Tala makan Twiggies (tau tak Twiggies, yang macam muffin tu). So I tengok Tala makan the Twiggies and said, “mmm..sedapnya.. nak satu boleh?” Pastu he thought I was kidding and dia gelak2 and then dia terus makan semua sampai habis. I sabar.
Tidak ku sangka ada orang yang noticed my face kinda dropped a bit pastu cepat2 cover. (I know la agak ntah hape2 to be upset about Twiggies, but I couldn’t help it.. masa tu rasa teringin sangat nak Twiggies tu!)
That was why I was so touched when a few nights later, Hafidz gave me a packet of Twiggies. It never occurred to me that this dude might have feelings for me or anything (1. sebab I’m not the kind of girl yang cepat perasan and 2. sebab I thought he memang macam tu dengan semua orang. I was so ignorant masa tu! hahahahaha…)
ok so back to the original story.. oh yes… and much, much more of Hafidz’s traits that haven’t changed since those days (kalau nak list down memang sampai bila2 pun tak abis entry ni!)
dan sekarang… soalan baru orang suka tanya:
“susah/leceh tak nak layan Sheemi masa pregnant ni? banyak demand/ragam tak? ada mood swings tak?”
Hafidz menjawab dengan ceria & ikhlas:
“Tak leceh pun… takde beza.. sama je”
:)
Sometimes we’re saddened by new fathers who share their ‘traumatic experience’ of dealing with emotional pregnant wives. I mean, they complain belakang-belakang you know. That’s not nice. U should never speak poorly of your wives, guys. Shame on you.
Owhh! agak sedih + kelakar bila I hear some of my girlfriends telling me, “haaa Sheemi..dah pregnant ni…inilah peluang untuk ask/ do whatever you want. Your husband will do anything to make you happy, coz now you can use the pregnant card.”
HahahaHahaaaaAaaaaaaa!
I don’t need to use the ‘pregnant card’ la! (ouch. ouch. I can’t laugh too hard!)
MY HUSBAND does all these just because HE LOVES ME. Period. He doesn’t need any reason pun to do them. This is how he was BEFORE we got married, now we’re married pun MASIH sama and I like to believe that it will always be like this FOREVER, insyaAllah…
BUT, ada juga sesetengah pihak yang mungkin berkata, “waaahh..bestnye…macam princess je” or there are some mean ones who say that Sheemi ni ‘queen control’ or “suami takut isteri la tu..”
Firstly, MEMANG I macam princess, but that’s why I married Hafidz.
I have told him at the start, “I like to be treated like a princess. Either you can handle it or you don’t. Many have tried and failed” (yes I am a woman who speaks her mind!) Obviously he PASSED with flying colours :)
Hafidz memang special & unique (macam Sheemi) sebab he sincerely appreciates me, he loves me unconditionally and yang paling penting he ENJOYS SHOWING it. Susah wooo nak jumpa orang camni.
Because sadly, men who can treat their wives like queens or princesses sangatlah jarang untuk ditemui. You know, some guys feel like they HAVE TO, TERPAKSA please their gfs/ wives sebab kalau tak nanti gf/isteri tu…haa.. tarik muka/merajuk/membebel dan sebagainya.
Sebab tu I know he’s THE ONE. Coz I noticed that even after 6 months of dating, of courting… the flame, the romance has not died down, not one bit. Normally dating couples will enter the much talked about ‘comfort zone’ after the 6-month mark. (you know… dah start boring, the lust has gone, dah tak selalu berkepit, muka dia dah cam annoying....etc etc)
And that’s when I knew Hafidz is the real deal, not just some guy who poyo2 sweet and loving and caring masa awal2 relationship je.
Just so you know, we used to go out every day, sometimes keluar tengah hari, balik petang, cakap phone, SMS, pastu malam jumpa lagi. Tak boring langsung! It’s like, we can’t get enough of each other, nak jumpa, lepak, nestar, citer, gelak, citer, gelak lagi. Every single day, I think selama 1 tahun 11 bulan, then we got married. (that’s like, what, 376 days? kecuali i think 3 or 4 days…masa Raya sebab masa tu balik kampong lain2 kan). Sampai my Mama said, “ishhh..jumpa hari2 ni tak boring ke? nanti kahwin dah takde modal nak citer.” Hahaha… Ma tengokla sekarang, we’re still like that…citer, gelak, citer, gelak lagi ;p
Kedua, I might be treated like a princess, but I NEVER TOOK ADVANTAGE. The mistake most women make is that when they are treated well, they pijak kepala and take advantage. That’s why the men serik dah nak buat baik lepas tu, sebab the women tak pandai hargai, sampai jadi mengada-ngada pulak. Pastu bila the men dah malas nak buat benda sweet2, salahkan the men. Frankly, I don’t blame the men. Some women are just so menggelabah that bila ada lelaki yang treat them nice, they jadi all mengada and amik kesempatan and demanding. So in the end lelaki tu tak tahan, chow la. So I say to all these pompuan yang mengada2, “padan la muka..dah dapat yang bagus, tak tau jaga”
Ketiga, NO SUCH THING as my suami takut dgn I. I admire my parents’ marriage because my Mama respects my Abah. She is not in fear of him (I think a wife who is scared of her husband and vice versa is so WRONG) but doesn’t mean that she doesn’t respect him. There’s mutual respect, they can express their feelings and yet Mama knows her limits. Never take each other for granted. Likewise, I am in awe of my hubby and I respect him. Sometimes if I’m in one of my nasty moods and act unreasonably, he just gives me this ‘look’ or talks to me sensibly (in his deep voice ala2 Barry White gitu) or say something funny and I’ll just totally snap out of it.
Suffice to say that I’ve known him for quite some time before we started going out as a couple and I’ve learned to not mess around with this guy (his Luxor downlines can vouch for that). You may think he’s funny and jovial and sentiasa ceria, but I kid you not, do not mess with him. But, if you don’t give him a reason to be mad at you, why would he, right? (like what I do la…and that’s why he loves me..cause i know him well enough to know what irks him and what doesn’t)
Anyway, there are people who actually thought that I buat2 cerita…kononnya my marriage best giler tapi sebenarnya tak. HELLO!! Why would I wanna make up stories?? Dah orang tanya, how’s married life, so I answer truthfully la. It’s so sick ok! There have been many occasions that I just choose to not talk too much about life after the wedding, walaupun ditanya, sebab kebanyakan orang2 ni adalah dalam keadaan yang menyedihkan, I felt like if I talk about Hafidz & I, it’ll be like rubbing salt in the wound.
And oh baru teringat, ni pun insiden di opis juga, Kak N and lagi sorang akak ni, they asked me if I masak or not. So I said, very jarang, lagipun I tau sikit2 je…but I nak belajar. Pastu they kinda like senyum sinis and said, “Macam mana nak buat suami happy kalau tak pandai masak?”
(see..so kampung right?)
I replied, “My husband tak fussy pasal makan2 ni (which is true). Plus, I dah bagitau dah, long before kita kahwin pun I told him I don’t cook. But I will learn in due time, mungkin takkan sehebat masakan mother-in-law I, but keinginan utk masak tu ada la of course, cuma belum lagi.” Tambah I lagi, “Lucky for me, my husband feels that masak is not an important criteria. Dia tak menilai seorang wanita dari skill masak sahaja. Being a good wife is more than just being a good cook” (yes my husband is NOT a typical MALAY husband)
Their reply? “tskk..tsk..tsk..”
Yang bestnya akak2 oi, you all masak la sedap macam mana sekali pun, I remember you all sendiri pernah complain kepada rakan sekerja yang lain (hello, office ni takla besau mana…semua orang boleh dgr everyone’s conversations maa) bahawasanya suami engkowrang “dah tak mesra”, “main golf/meeting selalu balik lambat”, “dah berubah, tak macam dulu”…
Pegila jaga suami engkowrang dulu sebelum sebok nak jaga hal orang lain, ok?
I guess all these disgusting people who think they know everything, should really, really get to know us first. Stop stereotyping us, sebab we’re not like you. We’re different, unique, whimsical. We’re not your typical, average married couple…so deal with it.
Therefore, to anyone out there who are damn skeptical about my marriage, who are dishing out the unneeded “advice” that I NEVER asked for in the first place! (and they think they have this privilege because ‘dah makan garam dulu’), please be informed that REAL, GOOD GENTLEMEN who are not chauvinistic pigs and treat their wives excellently…these men do exist.
Maybe you’re just not damn good enough to attract them.
(sekian luahan perasaan saya. sungguh puas hati walaupun bukannya orang baca pun..wakakaka)
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